The Cortisol Is Creeping Back and I Need Someone to Scare It Away

Oct 1

I took September off from blogging for a little hot girl summer! I had my honeymoon, a friend’s wedding, a couple concerts, and just a whole lot going on in general. I’ve been absolutely loving it. I feel so loved, I’ve got friends that I love, and things feel beautiful and clear and opportunistic. Now that I’m feeling more of that creative energy, that want to write, I’m going to catch you up on September happenings! Eeeeek. I can’t believe it’s October. Yeah maybe I do say that every month, but that’s my business. Anyway, I want to play around with adding some more sections that are just me writing, op-ed-ish, on current events or anything that I’ve got on my mind or heart. Writing allows me to feel feelings, and this story has wholly affected me. So I’m jumping into that first and then we’ll move into the usualllll. Thank you.

A Lot of Thoughts on the Cornell Rape

TW: gang rape, drugs. I want to talk about the rapists out of Cornell. This story is horrifying. It’s horrifying by itself, as a singular incident, and it’s horrifying on a larger scale, across the US, the perspective I’ll provide since that’s where I’m based. And if you haven’t been exposed to this, here is an article you can read. There are so many avenues of thought here - this is a large problem that’s been going on since I can remember, as long as I’ve been aware enough to understand that men could be unsafe. I grew up fairly groomed that I shouldn’t talk back and that my opinion only matters if it’s actually theirs, leading me to end up in relationships that were harmful to me, both platonic and romantic. I was in abusive relationships because I didn’t know any better. I was in abusive relationships and I thought it was all my fault. I was in abusive relationships and didn’t even realize some of them were abusive until I left. That being said, I’ve been in situations. I’ve heard and experienced what disgusting, cruel, people have to say.

And while I’m not going to be sharing my own stories, know that I have them and that every woman you know has them. Every single woman you know has a story of Sexual Assault. Another avenue is the fact that we’ve been groomed as a country to be okay with this. Look at our president! Look at the Epstein files! Look at what these evil, evil people have been doing for decades and realize that we have okayed this from the start. What’s been done for feminism has been washed away and then some in the last few years, and it’s extremely confusing to feel like we’re moving backwards. How are there people on talk shows and podcasts talking about how women should be less educated? That they should listen to their husbands? That they shouldn’t be their own individual self with their own individual dreams? No, they reduce us to property or a maid or housekeeping or the scheduler or the person who keeps it all going without them ever knowing how much it takes.

I’m in disbelief and beyond horrified how graphic this specific situation is, and it makes me absolutely sick. I went to college, I hung around fraternities, but I knew. I knew to never drink to much while there. I guess I’ll give one story: one night, when the guy I was seeing brought me to the fraternity for a party, he thought I was very drunk (I wasn’t) and said loudly to his friend “I’m gonna fuck her tonight!”. I wanted noooo part of this, promptly found my friends, told them, and left. That was the end of him and I hanging out. The thing is, I thought he was my friend. I thought he had my best interests at heart. I. Thought. We. Were. Friends. I can only be grateful that this one night, I was okay. And this is the least of what we experience. The way that I have more stories, ranging in levels of sexual assault, has made this story at Cornell extremely triggering. It makes me want to look away, truthfully, because of how I can just picture it. But I can hope that this type of media can at least change SOMETHING. There needs to be accountability taken. We can’t even rest easy in the fact that justice is doing its job, these rapists only had to write an essay apologizing. I wonder if they were allowed to use AI to write them. It isn’t fair. It’s not fucking fair. It’s not right. It’s not okay. Rape isn’t okay. And it isn’t okay that the administration would protect them. I can’t tell you how much it makes we want to vomit. But we need change. Please, get loud and get angry. And do it now. We have to protect women.

Thanks for listening, doing your part, etc etc I don’t know how to end this because it ended up really heavy. But what did I expect? Lol. Is it too much? I don’t know that I care. So we’re going to take this in for a moment, feel our feelings, and maybe take a break. Then we’re going to hop into the rest of the blog! I love you. Let me know if you need anything, ever.

Café Tres

Café Tres is our favorite neighborhood spot. We’ve been a couple times recently and ooooooo boy their cuban pastelitos and coffees are so tasty. They have both Cuban and Traditional espresso, and I’d hiiiiighly recommend one from the Cuban coffee menu. Cuban espresso is sweetened with sugar while it’s being pulled, which makes it sweet and bold (in my expert opinion). They’ve got a cafecito, cortadito, cafe con leche, and a colada for sharing; we really like the cafecito or the cortadito and would recommend. The Traditional espresso menu has espresso, cortado, cappuccino, or a latte (iced or hot), and they’ve got whole milk or oatmilk. For pastelitos (sweet or savory filled cuban puff pastries, more pastry-esque than an empanada) they’ve got Carne, Guayaba y Queso, Jamón y Queso, Coco, Almendra, Guayaba Especiada, and usually a seasonal flavor. Bonus, you can order a half dozen of a mix if you’d like! You have to get the Guayaba y Queso (Guava and Cheese). Other than that I love a Jamón y Queso, a Carne, and a cortadito to be eaten and sipped by the window. Residential street parking! Or walk if you’re close :)

Mile High Battle

The Mile High Battle is a local to Denver rollerblade competition that comes around once a year, for the last 26 years. There’s usually a week of different skate events leading up to the battle, which takes place on a Saturday. The Friday night before, the locations are dropped, and you’re strictly advised NOT to practice these spots before the battle starts. Then you move from one location to the other (this year was 3 spots over 6 hours) and you get to watch everyone session the rail or ledge or staircase or mix of whatever that spot has to offer. It was fucking sick! We’ve been getting into blading in the skatepark, and it was so inspiring to see this many incredible skaters doing tricks I’d never even thought were possible. And seeing some pros! So cool! Free to attend, just bring a chair and water. And you’ll have to wait for next year.

Ryder and I have been going to the skatepark multiple times a week now and it’s a great time. I fell last week and I’m healing up but feeling really good in most of my foundational skills on these things. It still blows me away that I rollerbladed on more fitness-type inline rollerblades for 26 years, and now I’m looking like bambi out here on these aggressive inlines. It’s so fun, but at the same time I’ll be honest I need some new skates because mine cut off the circulation to my toes pretty quickly and I thought maybe just maybe breaking them in would solve it and I’d be okay because other than this I absolutely love my Razor Bladies and they’re so comfortable except for my numb toes. HA. So anyway! I’m looking forward to learning how to drop in soon and get more comfortable in the bowl now that I’ve got a lot of practice around the skateparks under my belt. I still need to work on t-stops because what in the world, they are so foreign to me.

Power Cone

We FINALLY got to Power Cone and I have to say I’m appalled at myself for not going sooner. I’m not even kidding. This soft serve was probably the best I’ve had here in Denver. You can get one flavor, multiple in a swirl, sundaes, and floats. Ryder got a vanilla chocolate swirl which was sooooo good, and I went all out and got the maple sundae that had heath and chocolate and caramel (I forget the name and I can’t find it) and oh my goodness. I love it when they layer the toppings and oh did they. I truly loved this ice cream. Plus they use local ingredients!!! Ahh I’m dreaming about that sundae. I’m dreaming about the other sundaes on the menu. I’m dreaming about sundaes I could create! I’m dreaming about going back. Seating inside and outside!

Umai-Ya

We went to Umai-Ya! My cousin is in town for a work conference so I’m trying to fit in as much time with her as possible. She was recommended this All You Can Eat sushi place in Arvada, so we went to try it out. Wow! It was fab. Her friend had to keep reminding us that we can get more! Haha. You can get as much as you want, but be sure not to leave anything, you pay for what’s left over! We had a lot of nigiri, hit some of the starters, and sashimi. The creme brulee was a great dessert! I think for $38 per adult it’s a pretty fair price, especially if you can put down a solid amount of food lol. I definitely got my money’s worth! We went on a Wednesday night and didn’t have to wait for seating; there’s also a large parking lot for you to use!

Honeymoon!

We got married back in May and we went on our honeymoon at the beginning of the month, through Iceland to Barcelona! Iceland was beautiful. It was so awe-inspiring. We spent our time in Reykjavik because we were only there for >24 hours on each end, and ended up seeing so much! What a special place. Expensive and cold! Lovely and beautiful. The bulk of our time was spent in Barcelona which absolutely changed my life. I’m going to be so candid, but I had gotten extremely stressed out about the state of the world, the US, my work, everything. Being able to go somewhere that was comfortable, welcoming, deep and historical and cultural, and unplug, was amazing.

I had cortisol pouring out of me, and I don’t know where it’s gone but I swear it’s finding me now that we’re back in the US. I really loved not being stressed about guns while out and about. I loved the demeanor of the people there and learning their culture and day to day flow. There was a sense of community that was so alluring, and so often it was apparent how much more that this is a place built for people to live, spend time, gather, and laugh. There isn’t hostile architecture. There isn’t a feeling of being watched while out in an empty pavilion, because it wouldn’t be empty and nobody would be watching you. I hold a lot of stress as an American as well, and it was beautiful to be able to immerse myself in Spanish and Catalan language and culture. We could not have picked somewhere more perfect for our first trip abroad. What a honeymoon! I’m now constantly called to that lifestyle. And their skate shop was insane. I have a lot more pics on my instagram if you want to see what our trip was like!

Concerts

Die Spitz

The night before we left for our honeymoon was the Die Spitz concert down at Gothic Theater. This is our second time seeing them and wowwwww they’re just better and better. A badass group absolutely throwing down some of the hardest music while looking beautiful and powerful. The openers, Farmer’s Wife, were amazing. So much energy and passion. It was a great show, and I like Gothic every time we’re there.

Citizen

You know we try to see Citizen or Mat Kerekes whenever they’re in Denver, and Citizen came around on the beginning of their tour for their newest album Halcyon Blues, which Ryder and I both love. It sounds so quintessential Citizen while being fresh. It was an amazing concert. We’ve seen one of their openers before, Anxious, and seeing them again was great, they’re such a fun band to watch. It was at Ogden which I really enjoy as a music venue.

Thanks for reading. Truly, if you read through, thank you. I’m glad you’re here and some of this stuff is very heavy. Feel feelings. Reach out when you know you need to. You aren’t alone. You don’t have to do anything alone. We’re all in this together ;) xoxo Anna