Fall, Falling, Failing, Flailing

Oct 20

First up will be my chat/op ed/whatever I want to write of the day, then onto what I’ve been up to, what I’ve been eating, what I’ve been watching, and all my day to day faves.

Man oh man it can be difficult to stay positive these days. It’s like I have two sides of a coin that are my being:

Side one is really really happy. Her life is better than it could’ve ever been. She married the love of her life. She gets to do what she loves, she’s busy, she’s got friends and a fulfilled life. She loves the sun, the clouds, the trees, the flowers, the world. Life is good.
Side two cannot stop thinking about and apologizing internally for and feeling guilty about the atrocities that are happening across the globe, in the US and beyond. It seems nothing is going to get better and pretty down and desperate.

I’m an actual real-life empath and it comes with its ups and downs. I’m passionate and excited and genuine and I’m depressed and anxious and vulnerable. Every day we ingest the worst of the worst online, and it can be impossible to get your mind back into your life, the present, what’s real for you. But you might also yearn to have both, like me. I am constantly reminded how truly beautiful my life is compared to the lives of those who have no choice. I want to be able to help. I want to spread the word and do what I can. But at the same time, I have to pull away and remember my own beautiful life is valued and worth spending time in. I’m lucky enough to have been given this life to enjoy, while also keeping my eyes and my activism open to helping those that weren’t lucky enough.

I can’t believe that genocides can be so televised and so ongoing. War is going on in so many countries I can hardly remember. I can’t believe that human rights are at question. Women’s rights are being stripped away. Transphobia and Homophobia are real. Racism is visible. Misogyny is loud. Pedophilia is everywhere. Decades of collusion between the worst people in the news resulting in exactly the world they wanted - one they rule, and one where everything else is either property or broken down enough to be. We’re rapidly rolling backwards, pushed by those that have been around far too long, in office, deteriorating, old white men, making decisions for the whole of a very diverse melting pot that deserves so much more.

So basically this is me saying that if you feel bit of both, that makes sense. You can feel weird about being happy if you can’t stop thinking about injustice. You can also stop feeling guilty for feeling happiness and being grateful and appreciative of what you have. You can feel completely inconsolable, angry, confused. Sad. Mad. Determined. Motivated. Exhausted. Tired. Over it. Just hanging on. Find your joy and feel your sorrow.

Aggressive Inline Progress + ✨

I learned how to drop in on my skates! Well maybe most importantly I got new skates that fit so my toes don’t go numb and I have the right amount of length underfoot etc etc so I’m loving the new skates - they’re USD Sways. But also I’ve been working on progressing with my aggressive inlines and dropping in was looming. I knew it was something I was ready for but omg is it scary. We went to Cushing which has a great starting spot to drop in, and I used Ryder’s help for the first many times. Then I was ablet o do it on my own, heart beating out of my chest, but on my own. Now I can drop in while moving instead of just from standing!! I’m excited to see my progress in the bowl, and dropping in. It’s pretty impressive how many skateparks there are in the Denver area that provide different progression or different features, we’re lucky here! Abundant space for learning these new things. If you’re afraid of going to the skatepark, don’t be. Just do it. Everyone there is learning! Also, who cares. I might be the wrong person to give advice because I truly cannot find it in me to care if people are watching me or anything anymore. I don’t care. Just go do your thing!

Sadboy Creamery

Sadboy Creamery has been the most exclusive ice cream drop in town, and about a month ago they opened up a brick and mortar! I’m easily frustrated by long online lines, so you can imagine my excitement knowing that I could go a couple blocks over and grab a pint or cup or push pop from whatever they have in stock. This is my dream. So we went and grabbed:

a cup of Behind These Hazelnut Eyes (Nutella swirls and biscoff cookie in a mix of banana ice cream and pistachio ice cream)
a cup of Sadimal Circus Cookie (Animal cookie + doughy bites)
and a pint of Moody Maple Bar (doughnuts from Voodoo Doughnuts to make a maple bar base with caramelized maple bar bits and a maple bacon caramel.

If I had to pick a favorite out of them…….I’d pick Moody Maple Bar. But it’s so difficult. This ice cream is so so so good. I love BTHE but the slight banana might make me like it .1% less just personally because of my taste buds. Ugh these were so good and I need more stat. The amount of toppings is everything to me.

Weird (who’s to say?) Energy Drinks

I don’t drink alcohol and I love an energy drink (they go together in my head sometimes lmao idk don’t make me explain, I just like fun beverages). Not love like I’m having one every day and need it to live, but I love to have one when I really feel like it. It’s fun! They taste good! But I don’t get them all. I can’t drink Alani, there is too much caffeine! I don’t like Celsius flavors. My usuals are sugarfree Monster flavors and sugarfree Redbull flavors. Lately I bought an Iced Vanilla Berry Redbull and it was danggggg good. Then I found a vanilla shot Monster, and that one was great too!! Oh and I can’t forget what started it all - the Caramel Apple Olipop. I love the Crisp Apple Olipop so when I saw this seasonal version I needed it. And I loved it. The flavor was so spot on and good! It tasted like one of those suckers. But not too sweet. Idk I loved it. So lmk if you see anything weird (“weird”, whatever"), I want to try it.

My Favorites, My Every Days

Tea Lady. Tea Lady! Every morning I mix up my coffee with 2 tsp of whichever Tea Lady powder (Happy Gut, Sweet Spot, Glow Up) I need that day alongside my scoop of protein powder and pour of oatmilk. DAILY! This is my biggest daily routine. I almost neeeed it to feel “normal”. As I can.
Rose Water Facial Toner from Trader Joe’s. This is the first layer of my skincare every day. I love this stuff. I used to not like the smell but now I do, plus what I put on top of it dulls it. I used to use a lush toner spray but it was more expensive and I didn’t like it enough to pass up getting the TJ’s one. I love this product.
My favorite kitchen gadget, and this goes along with my Tea Lady point, is the milk frother. Probably any one you can find that’s in your budget. I use one to mix my Tea Lady powders and protein into my coffee, meaning I use it every single morning. I use the heck out of this thing. I could never go back to using just a spoon, clumping everything together and giving me the worst drinking experience.

GYM. Walk.

I’ve been getting into the gym again after about a month hiatus and it feels great. It really helps my hypermobile body to lift, even just once a week. I like to go and stretch first, then do a little full body type circuit from leg press to maybe dips, then leg extension, biceps, into leg pull down things, then chest press or something. Maybe some time walking forwards and then backwards on the treadmill. Done! Drink your water and get in your protein and eat enough. Listen to your body! Start low and slow. Start with a low weight that you can do 3 sets of 10 with. Move up from there! We’ve also been getting out on some beautiful walks this fall, out along the river on the trail in Golden, around the city, the trail at Wash Park. I can’t believe how beautiful it is! Every year!

Level 1 Yard Sale

Level 1 was having a yard sale and we stopped by to see what they had! Level 1 is a ski brand, movie producer, trend setter, ski culture lead, brand in the ski and cool kid community that’s been around for a few decades now. I grabbed a beanie, Ryder grabbed some mittens, and we ran into a friend! It’s always funny if Ryder or I buy something from Level 1, it gets to our house so quick because of how close we live to their warehouse lol.

What I’m Watching

Real Housewives of Salt Lake City is currently coming out Thursdays and you know I’m watching. I’m confused why we’re in San Francisco for so long and I don’t know why Lisa and Meredith did their little song if you could even call it that. Not my favorite season so far but I do love this dang franchise.
I started Real Housewives of Atlanta from the beginning a bit ago and I’m onto Season 4! I’m obsessed to say the least. Nene and Kim and Phaedra and Sheree and omg. It’s all just iconic.
Ride, the podcast by Mary Beth Barone and Benito Skinner is a mainstay of mine, and it’s coming out regularly right now. Throw it on and feel comfy like you’re hanging out with your besties. I was so lucky to see queen Mary Beth at her comedy show here in Denver and I just adore her. And Ben DA!
We watched the movie Sacrifice and it was interesting and good and bad and good. Anya Taylor-Joy and Chris Evans are the main characters. I don’t really think you should have a summary of this one before watching. It’s thought-provoking and surprising. Fun!
I think Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is over for me. It’s just turned into a mess I can’t watch. And can we agree season 5 is just nothingness? I think we let them all breathe and do their things, because most of these women are great and creative and just should live their lives. I can’t continue watching omg.

What I’m Eating

We stopped by Middle State Coffee on Santa Fe the other day; I got a pumpkin pie latte with oatmilk and it was good! If I’m honest, I don’t think I’d be able to tell it was pumpkin flavored if you didn’t tell me, but I don’t usually get flavored coffees at Middle State kind of because of this. I like the flavor of their coffee but specialty lattes fall flat here for me. Look, it’s really hard for me to say that. I love this place, I love the drinks and food and art around and merch and everything. So there.

One Friday I grabbed a reservation for Ma’s Kitchen Dim Sum and Noodles and had a great early dinner. We grabbed the Scallion Pancakes and Salad Spicy Sichuan Chicken from the happy hour menu. We also got the Spicy Cucumber Salad, Beef Dumplings, and Spicy XO Xiao Long Bao. I think my favorite was the spicy xiao long bao but I really liked the beef dumplings too. We enjoyed everything and like all of the choices! I didn’t take any pictures, sorryyyyy.